Kicking and Screaming Read online

  Kicking and Screaming

  By

  Jordan Silver

  Copyright©2014 Alison Jordan

  All Rights Reserved

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Epilogue

  Prologue

  Who does he think he is? I mean really. Just because you come from wealth, does not mean you have to be a stuck up stick in the mud with a nightstick up your ass.

  Besides, my family comes from wealth too, though we haven't actually had any for a few generations, but still, we're still known as The Doves, in certain circles.

  I wish my poor sister could see him for what he really is. Poor thing, she's so blinded by love for her fiancé Michael, that she hasn't picked up on the innuendos and slights from his so called best friend.

  I have. I haven't even met the man as yet and I already hate him. If I hear one more time what Jackson thinks or doesn't think, I'm going to fillet the bastard, just watch.

  Chapter 1

  "Janet, I wish you would stop flitting around here so much, you're giving me a damn headache. It's not like he's royalty or some shit."

  These people were like to drive me to drink with this nonsense. It has been days of the same roller coaster ride, all because Mr. High And Mighty was dropping in on us lesser beings for a couple hours of his precious time.

  "Oh Maxie, I hope you don't speak like that when Mr. Collins gets here, it's very unbecoming."

  My poor sister is demented. She knows me better than that. I wonder what made her think that because the rest of them had become brain dead overnight, that the same thing was going to happen to me.

  She knows I call it like I see it. And what I see is a pompous, overrated, swell-headed jackass, that was gonna get it if he put one foot wrong in my house.

  Of course, I’ve never clapped eyes on the phenomenon that was Jackson Collins in person, but I know what I know.

  The bastard was in for a rude awakening if he thought I was going to bow and scrape for him like the rest of my twittering ninny siblings.

  “And I know mother have told you that you are to be on your best behavior, that means no swearing at the poor man, and no giving him any of your sass.”

  "You.... I’m not curtailing my usual proclivities just because that jackass is coming here...."

  "Mama, Maxie's acting crazy again." She looked toward the door as the matriarch from hell waltzed in. Well shit.

  "I sure wish you people would stop calling me crazy, just because I'm not on Jackson Collins' dick...."

  "Maxie Irene, wherever did you learn such language? Wait until I tell your father young lady."

  I rolled my eyes behind my mother's back. "Where do you think I got it from?" I mumbled under my breath. That one lives in a bubble with no surround sound and barely enough oxygen to keep a gnat alive, bless her heart.

  "Sorry mother, I didn't know you'd come into the room." Or I would’ve been out before your shadow crossed mine. Mom and I don’t exactly see eye to eye on...just about anything.

  She believes in burying her head in the sand until the crisis pass; while I believe in kicking shit in the balls and facing it head on.

  "That's neither here nor there, a young lady should never speak like that; and what is that thing on your trousers?"

  "She's been working on that bike of hers again; oil stains, that's what she's got all over her." Why was Janet my favorite again? Lately, with all this wedding nonsense, she’s been a real pain in my ass.

  "Oh was Jonas here? I have some pre cooked meals I wanted to send for his father...."

  "Jonas wasn't here mother, I don't need him to work on my bike."

  "I wish you would act like the young lady you were reared to be; and do something with that hair."

  "Mother, the king of Siam isn't due here for another week, my hair's just fine. I sure wish you two would lighten up."

  "You need to get a wash and trim and have your nails done."

  "I'd rather roast on a spit in hell..."

  "Maxie...oh Conrad, thank goodness you're home, could you please have a talk with your daughter?"

  "What did the imp do now?" My dad winked at me as he loosened his tie.

  My hero. I'm a daddy's girl no question. While mom and my sisters Janet, Miranda and Jenny were all prissy little misses, I was quite different.

  I'm second to the last after Miranda, Janet is the oldest and Jenny is the baby. Their biggest concerns in life, is landing rich husbands.

  I on the other hand, was quite content with the middle class existence we lived.

  Yes the Doves had once had great wealth, but that was a few generations ago.

  Now, dad struggled to keep the one surviving business alive, while trying to keep up with the champagne taste of his wife and three of his daughters. Poor dad.

  Now this stuff shirt is coming into the picture and turning my life upside down. I am so not amused.

  “Well imp, what is it this time?” Dad walked over and wrapped an arm around my neck for a quick nuzzle.

  He was the only one I ever let get that close, because he was the only one I could trust. Except Janet, but like I said, the wedding had made her loopy so I’m rethinking that one.

  “It’s his bloody highness and his imminent arrival, which if I hear one more word about I’m going to stab myself in the eye with a pruning fork.”

  “That’s attractive.” Dad grinned like the scamp that he was before mom started her screeching again.

  “See what I mean Conrad, we can’t have her behaving this way in front of our guest.

  Think of the impression she’ll make and what with poor Janet marrying into that family, whatever will they think of us?”

  “If they can get over you and your insipid...”

  “Maxie...” Dad held me back, from letting her have it.

  So she thinks I’m an embarrassment does she? We’ll just see about that.

  Jackson Collins better wear a protective cup, for all the crap I’ve had to put up with because of his arrival he’d be lucky to get away with just a tongue-lashing.

  I left the room, or more like dad dragged me out of there before there was bloodshed, and I headed for my room to hide from the madness.

  Jackson Collins, my stomach hurt just thinking the name.

  Chapter 2

  "Geez, I can't believe THE Jackson Collins is going to be in our living room. Can you imagine? I just know he's going to fall for me, just wait and see."

  Jenny was fussing with her hair and face. She did know he wasn't expected for at least another few days right?

  I rolled my eyes and threw up in my mouth. As the days go by, it only gets worse.

  The whole house is in an uproar, and mom have lost her mind, running around cleaning every speck of dust in a ten mile radius and trying to corral me into helping.

/>   Later for that, I’ve been escaping her maniacal clutches every chance I get. She barely sees me at meal times and that’s only because dad bullied me into giving in to that.

  Now this twit was preening like a peacock with half her goodies hanging out. And mom had the nerve to talk about the oil stains on my jeans the other day.

  I wonder if she’s seen her trollop of a daughter in her latest get-up? Tramp.

  "Oh hell Jenny, delusional much; if he's so high and mighty what the blazes would he want with a half witted twit like you?"

  "You're just jealous because you don't stand a snow ball's chance in HE double hockey sticks of getting his attention."

  "For your information Drusilla queen of the sluts, I wouldn't have his pompous ass on a prayer.

  And who the hell talks like that? The word is hell you fruit cake." Jenny might be younger than me by ten months, but she's a monster bitch.

  It's like she got all the nasty, where the rest of us only got small portions. I always want to bash her face in.

  "How do you know he's pompous, and stop calling me that offensive name."

  "If the crotch-less thong fits; anyway are you serious, did you not read any of those emails Janet received from Michael?

  They're all full of, 'Jackson doesn't think this and Jackson doesn't like that'. I say who gives a good damn?"

  “Well you have to expect a man of his station in life to have certain taste after all. That’s what makes him so scrumptious; he’s not like these other fools around here, who only play at being wealthy.

  That’s why he’d be such a great catch for me, don’t you think?”

  Now why would she go and set herself up like that? “That’s one fish that might throw the catcher back. If he has half a brain, he’d steer clear of your SARS infested ass.”

  “I never had that and I wish you’d stop saying I did. I had a slight touch of pneumonia that’s all and the doctor said it was all cleared up.”

  She sniffed and walked out of the room. Thank heavens; I can barely tolerate her and the other twat for a few minutes at a time.

  I laid back against my pillows and stared up at the ceiling. It was only when I was alone that I could let my guard down and admit to myself that I was worried.

  I pressed down on the butterflies in my stomach and practiced my breathing exercise.

  ***

  Crap, it's D-day, the day his royal pain in my ass was due to arrive.

  Michael came in last night from Texas and he and Jan had disappeared, not to be seen or heard from again.

  "What's got you so antsy imp?" Dad snuck up on me. No doubt his wife had set him as sentinel to watch over the problem child and see that she didn’t crap on the carpet in front of her illustrious guest.

  "I hate this crap dad, I mean, have you seen the women in this house? They've all lost their minds, including your wife, they're like the pod people."

  "Hahaha, give them a break baby, they're just excitable that's all. Let them enjoy all this wedding nonsense, we'll keep the straight heads around here, make sure they don't put us in hock."

  "That's not it dad, it's this Collins character, I mean what's the big deal? The guy's a heel." I won’t have my dad falling under the spell of the enemy no matter how much money or know how he had.

  Mr. Hotshot was supposed to be some type of financial wiz kid who could give dad some much-valued pointers. Pfft, probably just another crockpot.

  "Oh, so you've met this person before?"

  "You know I haven't dad."

  "So basically you're judging someone and you haven't even set eyes on him in person, not even once. That doesn't sound at all like my imp, that sounds more like your little sister...."

  "You take that back, them there's fighting words old man."

  He laughed and ruffled my hair.

  No one takes me seriously around here. One thing is for sure. If that jackass puts one foot wrong, or do anything to mess up Janet's perfect wedding, I'm gonna punch his lights out.

  Chapter 3

  "Mom, I'm twenty not two. I'm not wearing that."

  "You can't wear denim to meet our important guest young lady." Please let me be adopted.

  "Jeans mom, they're called jeans in the twenty first century. Are you sure I'm yours, because seriously...."

  "I will thank you to keep a civil tongue in your head young lady, and none of your sass; oh where did I go wrong?"

  "It's that Conrad person you married, you've told me enough times that I'm just like him. I think it's only fair, you got the other three, well not Janet so much but...."

  "You have a point, but please, for your poor mama, just this once, it's a nice dress."

  "Which one of your cohorts picked it out?"

  I saw the lie forming before she opened her mouth and that just put my back up even more.

  "I knew it, I'm not wearing anything that, that...Jenny picked out." I couldn't very well call my mother's daughter a streetwalker in front of her now could I, but it was a close call.

  "Oh come on Maxie, it's a nice dress." She tried forcing the horrid frilly thing on me. It looked like somebody spray-painted taffeta with pepto bismol.

  I opened my mouth to blast my incubator, but she was saved once again. Lucky her, I was about to hunt down her twit of a daughter and strangle her ass with the straps on the ugly ass dress.

  "Maxie, I bought you something to wear for tonight." Janet burst into my room with her arms loaded down, and a glow on her face. For her I'd wear a stupid dress.

  "Let's have it; when is his eminence supposed to be here?" I studied the new torture device she passed off to me.

  "Oh Maxie really, I think that's blasphemous or something."

  "Maybe that's because you're all acting like he's the second coming or something mom, more like the anti..."

  "Maxie Irene Dove...humph." She stormed out of the room and Janet looked at me like I’d kicked her puppy.

  Why couldn’t anyone see my side here? Maybe because they had no idea what was really going on with you?

  Whatever! Now was not the time to think about that. “Don’t look at me like that sis, you know I’ll never do anything to spoil this for you.”

  “I just wish you’d tell me what it is that has soured you against him. It’s not like you to be this mean to anyone.”

  I walked over and hugged her to put her mind at ease. Poor thing, she had enough to worry about, what with hitching her wagon to some man who was probably going to run her life until she was old and grey, while he ran around with every skirt he could...

  Geez Maxie, you really have gone off the deep end. I put a big stupid grin on my face to hide my inner thoughts and ushered her out of the room so that I could get dressed.

  ***

  I ended up in a short, off the shoulder dress, in pearl grey, whatever the hell that means.

  Janet said it matched my steel grey eyes, which makes no damn sense.

  If anybody said anything about my fat ass sticking out in this contraption, I'm going to throat punch them.

  My sisters know better though, they've felt my wrath enough as kids. It's been a while, but I'd still knock them on their asses. Freaks.

  "Don't you look fetching imp, where you hide the weapons?" Why is dad always sneaking up on me? I eyed him in his monkey suit that mom had probably had to browbeat him into wearing.

  "Very funny dad." I playfully punched his arm.

  "Who's laughing? Now, the young man is downstairs and your sisters are on their best behavior. Please do me proud and try not to cut the man's throat at the dinner table."

  I gave him the stink eye and he held up his hands and stepped back with a laugh.

  "I had to ask, your mother's orders." Figures, she should be more worried about one of her precious daughters missing a few teeth if they said the wrong damn thing to me.

  "We'll see; I'm not making any promises."

  "Pretty girl tell me the truth, why do you hate this guy?" he squeezed my arm and looked at me indulge
ntly.

  It took me a while to answer. I had to get my thoughts together for this one. No one else but dad would care enough to ask.

  "I don't exactly hate him dad, it's just that I get the feeling from the tone of the things he's said, that he doesn't approve of Michael marrying Jan, and it's because we're cash poor and land rich."

  "Where'd you ever get the idea that we're poor? We might not have what the family once had, but we're holding our own. Now give the poor guy a break, he's probably not even thinking anything like that. I met him and he seems like a nice guy to me."

  "Grrrrrrr, not you too dad, traitor." I sailed down the stairs ahead of him with my nose in the air.

  ***

  Huh, so this is the firecracker Michael told me about. I watched her make her way down the stairs like Boadicea at the head of her troops. Not bad, if she would tone down the death glare in her eyes.

  In a past time they'd probably have burnt her at the stake. Those steel grey eyes and jet-black locks that flowed around her down to her ass, would've spelt witch back then.

  I wonder if she knew what affect that austere manner of hers with a body like that had on a man? Of course she did, how could she not?

  Jenny and Miranda were talking my ears off, though I think Miranda might be the less aggressive of the two.

  They weren’t exactly to the point where I was ready to hit the decanter, but I have to admit to wanting to forego the usual inane chatter for a gander at the fiery one.

  I pretended interest in the latest little tidbit from Jenny when out of the corner of my eye I saw movement.

  Here comes Janet and Michael with the fire-eater in tow. I turned to face them, but it was more to get the full effect than anything else.

  "Jackson Collins, I'd like to introduce you to my sister Maxie. Maxie this is Michael's best friend Jackson."

  I didn't miss the slight squeeze she gave her sister's arm to get her to respond, nor did I miss the squint fire girl sent her sister's way.

  So it was like that was it? I like a good challenge, bring it on sister.