Fervor Read online

  Fervor

  By

  Jordan Silver

  Copyright © 2013 Alison Jordan

  All Rights Reserved

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  EPILOGUE

  Chapter 1

  Gage Maddox is having a bad, fucking day his life has been playing out in the tabloids like a bad fucking dream that never ends. It was six days since that lying bitch had been caught in a compromising position with that fucktard by the fucking paparazzi. I mean how fucking stupid could you be? You're a high profile star whose every moment was damn near documented and you get caught out there like that in a fucking abandoned building down the street from my motherfucking house? I mean what the fuck. How could she do this to me?

  In the past six days I've broken everything breakable in our house, every memory, every photo, every fucking thing, and what couldn't be broken I tore the fuck to shreds. The only thing I didn't do was burn the fucker to the ground and that's only because I couldn't find a fucking match in that bitch. I shredded every damn piece of clothing she left there the conniving bitch. I don't think I've ever been this mad in my life. The bitch keeps trying to contact me but I have nothing to say to her. I wish I could say I hated her at this point, but I never lie to myself, as angry and as hurt as I am I still love the deceiving cunt.

  I spend my days in a drunken haze having shut myself away from family and friends, but the nights; the nights are the fucking worse. I can't sleep without her; it feels as though I’m missing a fucking limb. If I could reach into my chest and dig out my own heart without doing permanent damage to myself I would've done it by now, the pain was that excruciating. So now I'm sitting here like a chump, me Gage fucking Maddox Hollywood's hottest leading man, star motherfucking player, humiliated by a slip of a girl and an old douche. Every time I thought of that fucker I wanted to commit murder, as much as I told myself to stay off the net it was a losing battle, like a moth to a flame I kept going back, I had to look. The pictures of them together with his hands all over what's mine made me bleed, but more than that they made me seethe with anger. I wanted his blood on my hands; I wanted to tear out his fucking throat with my bare teeth.

  The ringing of the telephone for the one-hundredth time brought me out of my bloodlust fuse. I snatched it up knowing without looking who it was, after all only one person had that ringtone, why I hadn't chucked this shit out a window yet or at the very least deleted her ass was a mystery. Maybe I liked torturing myself. I answered as I had been for the past two days "fuck off bitch". I punched the off button like it was her face."Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck." When will this shit end? I finished my first fifth of jack for the day and passed out on my couch. I'll deal with this shit tomorrow.

  Chapter 2

  Day seven of this fuckery I roll off my couch with a groan. There were three maybe four, no definitely four little demon fucks playing construction with my head, I could pinpoint each individual location, one for each temple, one for the frontal lobe and the last dead center on the nape of my neck. As if my existence wasn’t FUBAR enough now I have to deal with this shit. One thing I've learnt in the past week is that all those asswads who claimed alcohol made everything go away didn't know fuckall about the human psyche. I went to bed knowing what the fuck was up and woke up the same, only with the added bonus of my mouth tasting and smelling like horse shit, my body stinking like a distillery, limbs hurting like an old bitch, bowels on fire and my fucking heart ripped to fuck.

  I opened my blood shot eyes and looked around lost. No one knew where I was, except maybe my mom and pops, my siblings might have a pretty good guess, but no one knew for sure. The cabin has been in my family for generations and after I'd done everything to destroy the million-dollar home I shared with that bitch I'd headed here without really knowing where I was heading. Hidden away in the woods miles away from the nearest town it was just what I needed right now. Thank goodness I'd had the presence of mind to stock shit up on the way here, not that I'd had much more than my man Jack in the last few days, but at least I didn't have to leave for at least a month if I didn't want to. Of course I had obligations, two premiers, some promo shit and fuck all, but right now I could give a fuck.

  I felt that niggling anticipation that has been by constant companion for the past few days creeping up on me again. The one that made me boot up my Mac and Google my life. This time around I fought it off and headed for the shower. I made the water as hot and then as cold as I could not even giving my boy a cursory tug. What kind of fucked up shit could prevent a man from pulling one off in the morning? Even when I was getting pussy on the regular I could still rub one out. This shit had to stop, I knew the only way it would end was if I knocked the shit out of that bitch, but if I did that for sure the cops would be on my ass, how come no one was arresting her sorry ass for the shit she did to me? This shit is murder. I felt the telltale betrayal of tears as they coursed down my cheeks as thoughts of her flooded my mind. I loved her so damn much, I probably hadn't even realized how much until this shit happened. She was my fucking world and now that shit was rocked off its axis. What to do, what to do, what to do? One thing was for certain, as I toweled off and threw on a pair of sweats, no more Jack, I had to get my shit together, it was time to take the power back. This was me, Gage fucking Maddox, master of my motherfucking universe. I run this bitch.

  Chapter 3

  First order of business call mom, none of us were allowed to go a whole week without some form of contact with the home front. It didn't matter if we were in the bowels of Borneo or bumfuck anywhere, unless we were in a coma, we called home. I knew she was having a hard time with this, my whole family was, they'd all grown to love the viper I had introduced into their midst three years ago. I'd briefly spoken to my parents for about five minutes that first day when my life was fucked, but nothing since then. I just couldn't, I had nothing in me to give to anyone. Bitch gutted me like fuck. You hear all these stories and see some fucked up shit in the Wood, but you tell yourself that would never be me, I would never play the chump. Well somebody must've had it out for my ass because she didn't just knock me down a peg; she threw my ass off the fucking ladder. It's widely believed that in the Wood everyone is fake, relationships are organized and everything rolls off you like you're Teflon, well fuck that noise, I'm a real motherfucker, I wasn't raised with this shit. My family isn't a Hollywood family, I am the first and only one in the business, my dad is a head surgeon at his hospital in our little hometown in Montana, and moms is an interior designer who stayed home until my little sister Tiffany started school. Dad comes from money, like a boat load of that shit but mom came from humble beginnings, she taught us how to value the things that were important in life. We had to work hard for what we wanted it wasn't just handed to us, well okay we didn't mow the lawn and all that shit, but we ha
d to do good in school, keep our rooms clean, play nice with others and all that happy shit; okay that 's not as hard as some have it but it did teach us to respect certain things. So all those jokers who were in the tabloids speculating that this shit was some kind of hoax could go fuck themselves, tell that shit to my decimated heart assholes.

  Enough of this shit I have to get my shit straight so I can call home and talk to mom without losing it. I took a deep breath and reached for calmness. Heading into the state of the art kitchen, I brewed a pot of coffee for the first time since my arrival. Foregoing my new enemy aka the laptop, I headed outside for some much needed fresh air. It felt like years instead of days since I'd been outdoors. I can't believe this is my life, one week ago I was onstage with the love of my life, the woman I was about to ask to marry me, basking in the glow of our success our one movie together a few years ago had been phenomenal and had catapulted both of us into stardom, I was so in love with her that night, smiling for our fans and just loving life, until it all came crashing down twenty four hours later. Now here I am a clone of myself hiding away and licking my wounds. Another deep breath Gage, you're still breathing so there's still life to live, just pick the pieces up and keep on trekking on. Yeah, okay.

  The beauty of my surroundings finally penetrated for the first time as I took in the wildflowers spread out in abundance with a nice backdrop of redwood trees. There was a nice stream running through the property that dad and gramps kept filled with trout, wild birds were going crazy in the trees closest to the cabin, and the sun was magnificent. How the fuck could life still go on when I felt half dead inside? I wanted to rant and rave, scream at the top of my lungs, kick and yell like a toddler with ADD until this pain left me, but nothing I did helped. I thought with time it would get easier, but with each passing day the agony intensified. My trust was gone with the wind, shattered, I had no feelings left, no care for anything or anyone, I literally wanted to lay down and die, but this beauty, this peace which now surrounded me was the first light of hope in a thousand days of darkness. It was my new awakening, time to plan. Let the motherfucking games begin.

  Chapter 4

  Mom answered on the first and a half ring like she'd been waiting by the phone, or maybe it was that freaky premonition shit she's had going on since we were kids. Somehow she always knew when we were up to no good, as a teenager that shit was scary as fuck. Imagine planning to have a fuckfest while the parents were away for the weekend only to have your mom give you the evil eye and a lecture before the fact. Good times.

  "Baby how are you? Where are you, are you okay? You need to come home your father and I need you here so we can take care of you, everyone's worried sick especially your brother and sister, we've been going out of our minds here."

  "Mom slow down, I'm fine really, everything's good." I lied through my teeth. Just the sound of her voice the love I heard there made me want to cry like a little bitch. I do want to go home and crawl into her lap and let her play with my hair the way she did when I was sick as a child. What the fuck? Man the fuck up Maddox, no crawling in mommy's lap you douche it was time to be a man and hit these motherfuckers hard, can't do that from mommy's lap.

  "Of course you're not fine don't lie to your mother, regardless of what's going on you need your family at a time like this, we need to regroup and come up with some kind of plan. Jane has been calling here nonstop looking for you, something about a statement. Suzette called and I had to restrain your sister in law from reaching through the phone and strangling her." My girl Connie I felt the first smile in a week cross my face. Connie was a grade A bitch but when she was on your side you had no worries. I had no doubt she would tear Suzette a new one but that was my job, I had to leave my little hideaway and go handle my shit. I wasn't surprised the skank had called my house, how she found the nerve was beyond me though, the girl I knew was a timid little thing afraid of her shadow. She must really be desperate if she was willing to confront Linda's wrath over the phone. She had to know my family would want nothing to do with her right now, at least I thought she knew us that much. We're a clannish bunch us Maddox we stick together no matter what.

  "Mom I just needed to get away for a while, clear my head you know, but I really am better now. I just needed some alone time out of the public eye I think I've had enough of that shit to last me a lifetime."

  "Oh you don't have to worry about the vultures, for the first few days they were camped outside the gates, but I took care of that shit right quick". Did I mention I got my potty mouth from mom? Funny as hell, here she is the sophisticated little bundle of beauty who stood all of five foot six, her blond beauty a throw back to a different era, to see her you wouldn't think butter would melt in her mouth but when she got riled up that little sailor that lived inside came out. I think I learned my first cuss word from her.

  "Oh yeah what did you do?"

  "I decided to take a walk with Zeus and Xerxes...without a leash"

  I felt the laughter start in the pit of my guts and work its way up and out.

  "Oh man I would loved to have seen that." I couldn't stop laughing at the picture in my head. Zeus and Xerxes were two Doberman pinchers with a mean streak a mile wide, if you weren't family or friend they'd try to eat your ass. I could just see the paparazzi scattering.

  "Did they get any of them?" I wouldn’t mind hearing they’d eaten one of the fucks.

  "Nah they scattered to the wind but it was a sight, Brian got pictures and your dad got good video, it's been good for a few laughs around here I can tell you that. So when are you coming home son?'

  And just like that I knew I was ready to go, not to lie in her lap like a baby, but to be around her warmth and her support, to have my older brother try to joke me out of my funk the way he has been my whole life. The only problem might be the girls, Tiffany and Suzette were like sisters separated at birth, they were constantly talking to each other, and I don't know what was going on with that now though. I knew no matter what my sis would be on my side and that just got me to thinking, who did Suzette have in her corner? I'm sure her mom and dad and her brothers would be there for her, but most of our friends were of the mutual kind and since most if not all of them were on my voicemail cussing her out, I didn't know who she had left. Connie was a no brainier she liked Suzette okay but she was a loyal bitch and no one messed with family or she would go Rambo on their ass. Connie and Brian had been together since college and in our family she was more than just an in law she was one of us. Bitch was hardcore.

  "I'll be there later tonight." Okay then, it was settled, I was going home. I'd have to call Jane my PR rep sometime today but right now I didn't want to deal with it, I wanted nothing to do with anything Hollywood for the next little while.

  "Okay son I'll let the others know you're coming and don't worry everything's going to be just fine."

  "Yeah?" I smiled through my pain again.

  "Would I lie to you? You go do what you have to do in order to get here, I love you son I'll see you soon."

  We said our goodbyes and hung up. I stretched my arms over my head and gave the computer the stink eye; hey I'd gone a whole ten minutes without cussing skanky hoe and douchetard; alrighty then progress.

  Chapter 5

  Fuck me my dog, how could I have gone all this time without checking on him? I am a bad parent. Okay so Rex is just a dog but he's mine, I'd saved him from that killing zone in L.A, well okay it wasn't just me but his bitch of a mother didn't count, bitch is dead, nough said. Anyway after I had gone terminator on my house I had found Rex cowering in the laundry room whining, shit almost broke my heart, so I'd made arrangements to have him sent home to grandma's house. I knew my mom would take good care of him, my mom is a dog person, but still he was my responsibility, I should've done better, damn. He must be wondering what the fuck was going on in his world, the two people who took care of him had been missing for a week, poor little thing and of course my little show must've scarred him for life, shit.

 
I was on my way home, the drive was a good six hours but it would do me good help clear my head. I planned on driving right through, no pit stops, heaven forbid I should stop for gas or something and see a Tab and lose my fucking shit, nah better not risk it until I was civilized again.

  I had my iPod blasting my warrior tunes, all gangsta shit, I had Ice Cube gangsta rap made me do it on repeat, shit was hot. Uhm maybe I shouldn't be listening to this shit right now, cause shit really made me feel like fucking somebody's shit up. Oh I know my day was coming no way was I letting that motherfucker Terry Poole get one over on me, first chance I get I'm gonna go Sparta on his ass. "I'm motherfucking Maddox biatch." Shit did I just say that out loud?

  Chapter 6

  Home, yeah um why was it that as soon as I saw the gates of home I felt like crying? Dude when did you grow a vagina? Grow a motherfucking pair. Okay heads up Maddox, you can do this shit. Yeah but how do you face your nearest and dearest when you felt like a piece of shit? They knew, more than any one else anywhere they knew what she was to me, what we were together, what we all thought would be forever. They knew about great grandma's ring that I had resized for her. Oh shit I felt bile rising in my throat. No Gage you most definitely do not need a drink, hooch will not solve your problems. Oh yeah did I mention that I've been talking to myself a lot since this shit happened? If it weren’t me doing it I would find this shit hilarious, but since it is me, can't say that it's so funny.

  I drove down the long ass driveway to the monstrosity I was raised in, looked like every light in that motherfucker was blazing. Before I could turn the car off the front door was thrown open and a whirlwind descended, I barely got the door open before I was holding my sister in my arms. Shit she was crying.